The controversy about whether or not we exist with a free will, wherein how things in our life go about is written by ourselves, that we are our own fate’s author and master, has been going on for millennia. While there are those who believe that we do hold destiny in our own hands, others would simply say otherwise. However, both views are but two polar extremes that do not hold the key to our sought-after answer.

Fate and free will, both exist, but contrary to popular conception, these two do not contradict each other. Instead, they exist proportionally to one another, each with its own scope of effect, like how different factors/elements are presented on a pie chart, but there is no exact quantification held absolute for each one, because it would change depending on the given circumstances each human being starts out with as well as all the other objective events in their life.

The moment any individual is born, none gets to choose their: parents, living conditions, date of birth, country of birth, etc.; some are born better off than others, and while some are born strong and healthy, others, just sickly and/or possessive of a disability. All of those factors are the pre-existing, pre-determining factors.

Different starting points have already set up different fates/paths for us all. Saying this does not mean that everything as we know it has been all scripted and it’s solely playing out accordingly, that there is nothing we can do to achieve what we dream of, but we need to get this right: there is free will, but the basis of our free will (this mind and body) had been created before our conscious existence ever came to be, which means we were never part of our free will’s creation because we had not existed yet. This creation is synonymous with a set of preset natural tendencies that lead to how each and every one of us behaves in day to day life.

Consequently, having understood this, then this whole realization leads us to the fact that we are not 100% in charge of our free will, because we did not decide how we came into existence in the first place; our so-called free-will wishes and desires are determined by our natural tendencies of which we are not even aware under regular conditions.

Such understanding begs the question: How are we totally free when we do not even know there are things on the most fundamental level of our existence that determine how we would think, feel, say and act?

Those are indeed the non-negligible limitations that should make us rethink our approach to life, and so the reality is, we are only free within those pre-existing limitations, and we will not always get what we want no matter how free we think we are because, as clear as day, certain things are unachievable due to certain predetermined factors at any given moment.

That is why the philosophical question “Who am I?” is significant, because each individual is born with a certain set of innate characteristics (imbued within our genetics). You need to know who you are by understanding those natural traits in order to grow self-awareness, to learn from the past and avoid repeating the already committed mistakes so you can make choices to be better.

To make it easier to understand, let’s take a deeper look into the nature of fate with some practical analyses and explanations.

A starving person’s greatest concern would be to get a sufficient meal; a person with a physical handicap, or one that is seriously ill, would only ask for a normal healthy state of being that an average person has; or a poor orphan would long for no more than having parents and a normal family like that of any other normal kids. A person’s greatest wish lies with the circumstances they are put in from the start. Even though the wish may change once things have gotten better for them, it is still safe to say, most of those who have been through rough experiences early on would more or less tend to learn to be grateful of what they have in the present.

Meanwhile, on a side note, a great many people who were born healthy, having a decent family, personal freedom with myriads of choices, do not realize the privileges they have and take them all for granted, being physically grown “children” who only demand for more and more, who go around throwing tantrums over what they cannot get and possess. It is because of such fragile egos that they, without hesitation, will demonize anyone or anything that fails to meet their expectations.

As such, it is demonstrable how much the initial circumstances affect the course of a human life, it would be wild to think that, say, an individual with a born heart condition can engage in any sort of extensive physical activity whatsoever, except for when the said problem were removed, on the conditions of possessing a medical development advanced enough to have the technology required for treatment, and financial affordability (unless there is free healthcare from A to Z).

Or, if a motivational speaker is trying to inspire an audience of physically handicapped people, for instance, those with disabled legs, (s)he should be aware to avoid saying that they (people with lower body disability) must stand up after every fall in life, because that would generally sound like sarcasm instead.

Or, you can look at things from a natural science’s standpoint. All the natural laws and principles known in disciplines such as physics are the very confines of our world that dictate how all things come to be, including us, both the tangible and intangible. For example, without the law of universal gravitation, things as we know would not exist, as atoms would not be held together, which means matters cannot form. All of those laws are the predeterminant factors for everything’s existence, representative of fate itself.

Once having thoroughly penetrated the nature of fate, we cannot deny the fact that we all have natural limitations, and to accept those limitations is to avoid spreading false and unrealistic hopes about what a person can achieve. “Anything is possible”, therefore, is supposed to have some encouragement value, but not to be taken literally, which might lead to some undesirable outcomes due to misplaced beliefs.

Whatever happens to us that is beyond our control is what sets into motion the kinds of possible paths that we can take (though this is rather unquantifiable). Nonetheless, the range of possibilities for what eventual outcome of a life can be is wide and open; a person still has much choice with regard to what they want to ultimately achieve and become.

Now, the bang-for-the-buck question is, how can we forge our own fate? What’s passed is past; it cannot be taken back, no matter how many “could’ve-should’ve-would’ve’s” there are because of hindsight and belated realizations. At any present moment, there are always things we do not know and that ignorance is part of our fate as well. The only way for us to change our own life is to become aware and to choose how we respond to external stimuli – whether we will stand up and take the needed actions to change for the better or remain forever the inconsolable victim.

Yet, the funny paradox/irony is, people want to bathe in luxuries without making the effort to get there, which is like wanting to have food served to the mouth without doing anything.

Having gone thus far, the message is: To those who are not stuck in a war-torn or poverty-stricken country, those who are not afflicted by an abusive family or circle of relationships, those who still have the privilege of feeling self-entitled and throwing tantrums over petty matters, those who wonder what nice outfit to wear or what good food to eat tomorrow, those who still have time to think about negative things and who still get to choose things, all thanks to the abundant available freedom, remember, fate can only be changed when we start taking charge of our own life, so stop blaming and expecting from people and circumstances, rise above victimhood after hard times and accept responsibility, and to take responsibility is to get ready to be blasted in the face with hardships, to grind and put in the work should you wish to implement any kind of betterment in life.

If yesterday you took everything for granted and did not know what went wrong or what caused it to go wrong, then today ask “why” to all the people and things around you, so you can understand everything better and how it works, which, by all means, will lead you to taking the right actions for a desired change.

After all, to conclude in simple terms, because there are always things we cannot change and things that we can, fate, ergo, is half by chance, half by choice.